Welcome back to our final installment of Mindful Politics, a series born from my lived experience navigating political tension across Wyoming’s civic landscape, local communities, and even my own kitchen table.
Before we dive in, I need to be honest: the past two weeks have knocked the wind out of me. I had this column ready to wrap up the Mindful Politics series—neatly, thoughtfully, with a bow. But then the headlines came like a flood. Political assassinations. Another school shooting. The anniversary of 9/11. A young person was found hanging from a tree. Each story felt like a punch to the chest. My mind has been spinning, my heart aching. I’m not just sad—I’m furious. I’m not just tired—I’m heavy with grief.
And yet, here I am, writing through the weight, because emotional literacy isn’t just a concept—it’s a lifeline. Let’s dive in.
Emotional literacy is a lifeline for all of us. Whether I’m facilitating leadership retreats for startup companies or hashing out family finances, one truth keeps surfacing: emotional intelligence isn’t optional—it’s essential.
In the last newsletter, we unpacked the power of recognizing feelings. This week, we go deeper: how do we talk about emotions in difficult conversations, and how do we build emotional resiliency when the stakes are high? Oftentimes, it’s the emotions that shut down a conversation—hard stop. But we can do better.
The Conscious Leadership Group calls this emotional literacy—the ability to name, feel, and responsibly express our emotions.
As they put it:
“Achieving emotional literacy involves two steps:
(1) developing a clear, accurate definition of emotion and (2) identifying the core emotions.”
Let’s walk through both.
What Is an Emotion?
It’s more than just a feeling. Here’s how some thought leaders define it:
- Marc Brackett (Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence): Feelings are core experiences; emotions are more specific and granular, often with distinct root causes.
- Conscious Leadership Group: Emotions are energy in motion—physical sensations that move through us.
- EQ-i Framework: Emotions are biochemical reactions to stimuli.
Each definition points to the same truth: emotions are data. They’re not irrational or inconvenient—they’re informative.
I’ve learned this firsthand—whether it’s the tightness in my chest before a tough conversation with a stakeholder, or the heat in my cheeks when I feel misunderstood by someone I love. These sensations aren’t distractions. They’re invitations. It’s the decision that you made next that matters.
Identifying Core Emotions
In Atlas of the Heart, Brené Brown found that most people can only name three emotions: mad, sad, and glad. Just three. That’s like trying to paint a Wyoming sunset with only primary colors.
Brackett’s research echoes this: we’re not only out of touch with our emotions—we often lack the tools to regulate them. Emotional literacy starts with expanding our vocabulary and tuning into our bodies.
Try this:
- Ask yourself: Where in my body do I feel this emotion? Head, heart, gut?
- Notice the difference between a true feeling and a disguised judgment. Saying “I feel the Republicans are off their rocker” isn’t a feeling—it’s a belief. Try instead: “I feel frustrated when I hear that viewpoint.”
I’ve had to relearn this distinction myself—especially when it comes to responding vs. reacting. It’s humbling. And it’s worth it.
Why We Repress Emotions
Let’s name the myths:
- “It’s not personal; it’s just business.”
- “Emotions cloud judgment.”
- “Talking about feelings is soft—or feminine.”
- “I wouldn’t even know where to start.”
These beliefs kept me silent in rooms where I should’ve spoken up—and reactive in moments where I needed to stay grounded. But emotions aren’t liabilities. They’re signals.
What Emotions Are Telling Us
Brackett outlines five reasons why emotions matter:
- They affect attention.
- They shape decisions.
- They influence relationships.
- They impact health.
- They drive creativity and performance.
Let’s decode a few:
- Anger might mean a boundary needs to be set.
- Fear could signal something important is being avoided.
- Sadness may point to something that needs releasing.
- Joy often invites celebration or gratitude.
None of these are “bad.” They’re messengers and an invitation to dig deeper. “What’s behind the anger? Why am I fearful about this situation?” Usually, it’s because a core value is being crossed or not honored.
Walking the Talk: Hot Button Emotions
Ready to get practical? Let’s explore your triggers—those moments that send you way below the line.
Step 1: Identify your hot buttons
Write down:
- “It makes me angry when…”
- “I feel offended when…”
- “At work, I wish people would…”
- “At home, I think it would be better if…”
For me? It makes me angry when people dismiss others just because they carry a difference of opinion.. I feel offended when someone assumes I’m not strategic because I lead with heart. I wish we’d all slow down long enough to listen—really listen.
Step 2: Notice your reactions
- What happens in your body? Heat? Tightness? Racing heart?
- What emotions show up? Anger? Frustration? Shame?
- What thoughts arise? “How rude.” “I’m so over this.”
Step 3: Explore your coping strategies
Ask yourself:
- “What do I tend to do when my hot button is pushed?”
- “Do I shut down, lash out, avoid, or over-function?”
This is the work.
Emotional literacy isn’t just about naming feelings—it’s about staying present with them, especially when the stakes are high.
Final Thought: Above or Below the Line?
In politics, as in life, we’re constantly choosing: do we show up above the line—curious, open, grounded—or below the line—reactive, defensive, judgmental?
Emotional literacy helps us stay above the line. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being aware.
Thanks for journeying through Mindful Politics. May your conversations be brave, your boundaries clear, and your heart open.
Links Below:
The polarizing detox challenge from the Builders Movement.
