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An Invitation to Try Again

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The start of the new year brings invitations…to get back on that exercise program…to eat more healthily…to read before bed instead of scrolling, for example. One of the things I’m focused on is reflection. Centering myself at the beginning and end of the day. Reading to inspire. Gratitude. Carrying my values through my day.

As part of my “line up” last year, I learned to incorporate The Book of Awakening, by Mark Nepo. It’s a book with daily entries centering on “having the life you want by being present to the life you have.” Today’s entry stopped me in my tracks. Like it was written just for me, just for this space, reacting to the tense and tumultuous world we are living in right now. Read on…

“Meeting the world – January 28th entry, page 32

There is a wind that keeps blowing since the beginning of time, and in every language ever spoken it continues to whisper, You must meet the outer world with your inner world or existence will crush you. If inner does not meet outer, lives will collapse and vanish. Though we often think that hiding our inwardness will somehow protect or save us, it is quite the opposite. The heart is very much like a miraculous balloon. Its lightness comes from staying full. Meeting the days with our heart prevents collapse.

This is why ninety-year-old widows remain committed to tending small flowers in spring; why ten-year-olds with very little to eat care for stray kittens, holding them to their skinny chests; why painters going blind paint more; why composers going deaf write great symphonies. This is why when we think we can’t possibly try again, we let out a sigh that goes back through the centuries, and then, despite all our experience, we inhale and try again.”

What I love about this entry is the reminder that our inner life isn’t a luxury or an escape—it’s what grounds us. It’s what steadies us when the world feels sharp or overwhelming. So many of us try to muscle through the hard days by tightening up, pushing down, or disconnecting from what we feel. But Nepo invites us to do the opposite: to meet the world with a heart that is full, not hidden.To let our values, our tenderness, our curiosity, and our gratitude be the way we stay upright. It’s a radical kind of strength, one that doesn’t require armor.

As I move into this new year, I’m taking that invitation seriously. To pause long enough to notice what’s happening inside before reacting to what’s happening outside. To let small practices—lighting a candle, reading a paragraph that shifts my perspective, stepping outside to breathe Wyoming’s cold morning air—be the ways I keep my heart full. And when the world feels heavy or loud, to remember that humans have always found a way to try again. That sigh Nepo describes—the one that stretches back through centuries—feels like a reminder that resilience isn’t about force. It’s about returning to ourselves, again and again, and meeting the day from that place. It’s an invitation to show your soul to the world.

✨ Mindful Moments: ✨

As we move through these early weeks of the year, I hope you find small ways to let your inner world meet the outer one with steadiness and intention. Not through grand resolutions or rigid expectations, but through the quiet practices that keep your heart full—pausing before the day sweeps you away, noticing what matters, tending to what’s tender, and returning to yourself when things feel off‑center. The world will keep being the world, with all its noise and beauty and contradiction. But we get to choose how we meet it.

May this season invite you to breathe a little deeper, listen a little closer, and trust that each time you begin again, you’re strengthening something essential. Here’s to a year shaped not by pressure, but by presence.

  • For today – notice what matters. A kindness for others? A kindness for yourself? Empathy? A deep breath? 
  • What value do you want to carry with you today?

Erin Taylor Coach Offerings

As a certified leadership coach, I utilize an assortment of proven industry-recognized energy and leadership assessments including:

EQi 2.0-Emotional Intelligence Assessment – one of the most scientifically validated Emotional Intelligence instruments on the market today. The Hogan Assessment – a powerful tool designed to evaluate personality in the workplace, offering deep insights into leadership potential, interpersonal skills, and career development.

View My Offerings

A Mindful Year’s End… in a Galaxy Not So Far Away 

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Every December, as the year winds down and the Wyoming wind kicks up, my family leans into one of our most beloved traditions: watching the entire Star Wars saga from start to finish. Yes—all of them. Lightsabers, Wookiees, questionable galactic politics (funny how much of it echoes today’s political scene), and the eternal struggle between fear and presence. It’s a marathon of nostalgia, popcorn, puzzles, and the occasional debate over the correct order to watch them in.

But somewhere between Yoda’s wisdom and the hum of the Millennium Falcon, I’m reminded that Star Wars is, at its core, a mindfulness manual wrapped in space opera.

So, as we close out the year, I thought I’d share a few mindful lessons from the galaxy far, far away—lessons that might help us step into the new year with clarity, courage, and a little more ease.

This isn’t about perfectionism. It’s about presence. When we commit to something—resting, setting boundaries, taking a walk, saying no—we can do it with intention rather than half‑energy or guilt. Mindfulness invites us to show up fully, even in small moments, especially in small moments.

Fear is the path to the dark side… but awareness is the path back.

Fear, stress, and overwhelm aren’t signs we’re failing—they’re signals. When Luke rushes into battle fueled by fear, things unravel. When he pauses, breathes, and reconnects with his values, he finds his way. Mindfulness doesn’t eliminate fear; it helps us notice it without letting it drive the ship.

As we wrap up the year, consider: 

What fear-based habits can I release 

What choices feel aligned with who I’m becoming 

This one feels like it was written for modern life. Our attention is our most precious resource. Where we place it—on gratitude, on connection, on what we can control—shapes our experience of the world.

Even the Rebellion needed rest.

One of the most underrated themes in Star Wars is recovery. Between battles, the heroes rest, repair droids, share meals, and reconnect with their people. They don’t hustle nonstop. They honor cycles. They begin again.

As you move into the new year, may you give yourself permission to: 

– Recharge without apology 
– Celebrate small wins 
– Step back when needed 
– Trust that rest is part of the mission

A New Hope (for You) 

The end of the year is a natural invitation to tidy up—your space, your thinking, your relationships, your energy. Not with pressure, but with curiosity. What do you want to carry forward? What can you set down?

As my family settles in for another round of lightspeed jumps and Jedi wisdom, I’m reminded that mindfulness isn’t about escaping to another galaxy. It’s about noticing the one we’re already in—messy, beautiful, unpredictable, and full of possibility.

May the Force—and your inner calm—be with you as we step into a new year.

✨ A mindful practice for the new year: 

Choose one moment each day to pause and ask,
“What am I focusing on right now?”

If it’s not serving you, gently shift.

Erin Taylor Coach Offerings

As a certified leadership coach, I utilize an assortment of proven industry-recognized energy and leadership assessments including:

EQi 2.0-Emotional Intelligence Assessment – one of the most scientifically validated Emotional Intelligence instruments on the market today. The Hogan Assessment – a powerful tool designed to evaluate personality in the workplace, offering deep insights into leadership potential, interpersonal skills, and career development.

View My Offerings

Practicing Gratitude: An Annual Invitation (and a Daily Gift)

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Practicing Gratitude: An annual invitation and a daily gift

Last November, I told you how my family returns to a beloved tradition we call our “thankfuls.” It’s a simple ritual—colorful 2×8 inch cardstock, a few Sharpies, and a basket in the kitchen—but it anchors us in something profound: the practice of noticing and naming what we’re grateful for.

Throughout the month, we aim to jot down one thankful each day…ish. Some are lighthearted (hockey, dog walks, a no-wind day in Wyoming), while others reflect deeper appreciation for each other’s presence, humor, or quiet strength. On Thanksgiving, we read them aloud. We laugh. We cry. Sometimes the food gets cold. And somehow, even with the usual procrastination, the basket always fills.

After dinner, we link the thankfuls into a paper chain that wraps around our home for the holidays—a visible reminder of the love and gratitude we’ve shared. It’s colorful, sometimes sparkly, and always heartfelt.

This tradition isn’t just about November. It’s a yearly nudge to return to gratitude, to remember that even in the busiest seasons, we can pause and give thanks.

This year, my husband and I have added a new layer to our practice: each day, we tell one another something we appreciate about the other. It’s simple, intentional, and surprisingly powerful. Whether it’s a kind gesture, a moment of patience, or just showing up with a smile, naming our appreciation has deepened our connection and brought warmth to even the most ordinary days.

Whether you use cardstock or conversation, sticky notes or silent reflection, I invite you to join in this annual—and daily—practice. Let it be a reset, a reconnection, and a reminder that gratitude is always within reach.

Graphic that reads: Smart Things People Say: "Gratitude turns what we have into enough." - Aesop

Mindful Moments: The Wake of Gratitude

The One-Line Journal 📝

Each evening, write a single sentence that begins with “Today I’m grateful for…”
This practice is intentionally brief, making it sustainable even on busy days. Over time, it becomes a powerful archive of small joys, meaningful moments, and personal growth.

 Appreciation Exchange 💙

Invite a loved one, friend, or colleague to join you in a daily exchange: each person shares one thing they appreciate about the other. This can be spoken, texted, or written. It builds connection, strengthens relationships, and helps both people feel seen.

Gratitude Pause 🙏

Set a timer once a day to pause for 60 seconds. During that minute, take three deep breaths and mentally name three things you’re grateful for in that moment—no matter how small. This micro-practice trains your brain to notice goodness in real time and cultivates presence.

Erin Taylor headshot

Erin Taylor Coach Offerings

As a certified leadership coach, I utilize an assortment of proven industry-recognized energy and leadership assessments including:

EQi 2.0-Emotional Intelligence Assessment – one of the most scientifically validated Emotional Intelligence instruments on the market today. The Hogan Assessment – a powerful tool designed to evaluate personality in the workplace, offering deep insights into leadership potential, interpersonal skills, and career development.

View My Offerings

Fall is proof that letting go can beautiful

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As the leaves turn and the air grows crisp, fall invites us to pause, reflect, and realign. It’s a season of transition—one that gently nudges us to ask: What’s calling me right now? What needs tending, releasing, or reclaiming?

This month, I’m approaching self-care not as a checklist, but as a quiet practice of listening. Listening to what my body is asking for, what my heart is craving, and what my mind needs to release. It’s less about doing all the things and more about honoring what feels most true in the moment.
For me, that often starts with my physical space. After time on the road, coming home means clearing the clutter, catching up on chores, and creating a sense of calm. But I try not to make it about productivity—it’s about presence. Sometimes what I need most is a cozy blanket and a good book. Other times, it’s a slow yoga flow or simply walking the dogs. The invitation is simple: tune in, trust what you hear, and let that be enough.

Here are a few gentle prompts to guide your fall reset:

  • What do I need most right now—and how can I give myself permission to receive it?
  • What clutter (physical or emotional) am I ready to release?
  • Which relationships feel nourishing—and which ones need new boundaries or closure?
  • What rituals or routines help me feel grounded as the season shifts?

In my coaching circles this month, we’re exploring how self-care can be both radical and restorative. It’s not selfish—it’s sacred. Here’s an invitation to download my self-care success formula. Build a plan that works for you and remember to give yourself grace for the days you don’t check all the boxes. When we care for ourselves with intention, we show up more fully for our families, our communities, and our work.

Mindful Moments:The Seasonal Sift –  a Mindful Framework for Fall

The Seasonal Sift is a beautiful metaphor for fall—a time to gently sort through what’s present in your life and decide what to keep, what to release, and what to reimagine. 

Purpose:
Reflect on your inner and outer environments, identify what’s no longer serving you, and make space for what’s calling.

Step 1: Gather What’s Present

“What’s showing up in my life right now—physically, emotionally, relationally?”

Name what’s occupying their space and energy. This could include:

Cluttered rooms or inboxes
Lingering emotions or thought patterns
Relationships that feel out of sync
Habits or routines that feel stale
Prompt: “List five things—tangible or intangible—that feel heavy or outdated.”

Step 2: Sort with Compassion

“What’s worth keeping, and what’s ready to be released?”

Sift through your list with curiosity, not judgment. Ask:

Does this align with who I’m becoming?
Is this nourishing or draining?
Am I holding this out of habit, fear, or obligation?
Prompt: “Circle what feels life-giving. Cross out what feels burdensome.”

Step 3: Let Go with Ritual

“How can I honor what I’m releasing?”

Letting go can be powerful when paired with ritual. Ideas include:

Writing a goodbye letter to an old belief or habit
Clearing a drawer or digital folder
Saying a silent blessing before ending a relationship or role
Prompt: “What small ritual could help me release this with grace?”

Step 4: Make Space for What’s Calling

“What am I ready to welcome in?”

Now that space has been cleared, name what you want more of:

Stillness, creativity, connection, clarity
A new boundary, practice, or mindset
Prompt: “What’s calling me forward this season—and how can I say yes?”

Books By My Bedside

Why “Strong Ground” Is the Book to Reach For This Fall

If fall is a season for recalibration, Strong Ground by Brené Brown is the perfect companion. It’s a call to lead—and live—with courage, clarity, and emotional steadiness, especially when the world feels anything but steady.
By chapter seven, my copy is already dog-eared, highlighted, and scribbled through. Brown’s insights on stability, self-awareness, and well-being feel especially resonant right now, offering not just theory but practical tools for navigating change and guiding others with integrity.

Whether you’re seeking clarity, anchoring your leadership, or simply trying to show up more fully in your relationships, Strong Ground offers a steadying voice and a path forward. This season, let it be your invitation to pause, reflect, and root deeper into what matters most.

The Real F-Word in Politics? Feelings. And We Need Them

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Welcome back to our final installment of Mindful Politics, a series born from my lived experience navigating political tension across Wyoming’s civic landscape, local communities, and even my own kitchen table. 

Before we dive in, I need to be honest: the past two weeks have knocked the wind out of me. I had this column ready to wrap up the Mindful Politics series—neatly, thoughtfully, with a bow. But then the headlines came like a flood. Political assassinations. Another school shooting. The anniversary of 9/11. A young person was found hanging from a tree. Each story felt like a punch to the chest. My mind has been spinning, my heart aching. I’m not just sad—I’m furious. I’m not just tired—I’m heavy with grief. 

And yet, here I am, writing through the weight, because emotional literacy isn’t just a concept—it’s a lifeline. Let’s dive in.

Emotional literacy is a lifeline for all of us. Whether I’m facilitating leadership retreats for startup companies or hashing out family finances, one truth keeps surfacing: emotional intelligence isn’t optional—it’s essential.

In the last newsletter, we unpacked the power of recognizing feelings. This week, we go deeper: how do we talk about emotions in difficult conversations, and how do we build emotional resiliency when the stakes are high? Oftentimes, it’s the emotions that shut down a conversation—hard stop. But we can do better.

The Conscious Leadership Group calls this emotional literacy—the ability to name, feel, and responsibly express our emotions.

As they put it:

“Achieving emotional literacy involves two steps:
(1) developing a clear, accurate definition of emotion and (2) identifying the core emotions.”

Let’s walk through both.

What Is an Emotion?

It’s more than just a feeling. Here’s how some thought leaders define it:

  • Marc Brackett (Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence): Feelings are core experiences; emotions are more specific and granular, often with distinct root causes.
  • Conscious Leadership Group: Emotions are energy in motion—physical sensations that move through us.
  • EQ-i Framework: Emotions are biochemical reactions to stimuli.

Each definition points to the same truth: emotions are data. They’re not irrational or inconvenient—they’re informative.

I’ve learned this firsthand—whether it’s the tightness in my chest before a tough conversation with a stakeholder, or the heat in my cheeks when I feel misunderstood by someone I love. These sensations aren’t distractions. They’re invitations. It’s the decision that you made next that matters.

Identifying Core Emotions

In Atlas of the Heart, Brené Brown found that most people can only name three emotions: mad, sad, and glad. Just three. That’s like trying to paint a Wyoming sunset with only primary colors.

Brackett’s research echoes this: we’re not only out of touch with our emotions—we often lack the tools to regulate them. Emotional literacy starts with expanding our vocabulary and tuning into our bodies.

Try this:

  • Ask yourself: Where in my body do I feel this emotion? Head, heart, gut?
  • Notice the difference between a true feeling and a disguised judgment. Saying “I feel the Republicans are off their rocker” isn’t a feeling—it’s a belief. Try instead: “I feel frustrated when I hear that viewpoint.”

I’ve had to relearn this distinction myself—especially when it comes to responding vs. reacting. It’s humbling. And it’s worth it.

 Why We Repress Emotions

Let’s name the myths:

  • “It’s not personal; it’s just business.”
  • “Emotions cloud judgment.”
  • “Talking about feelings is soft—or feminine.”
  • “I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

These beliefs kept me silent in rooms where I should’ve spoken up—and reactive in moments where I needed to stay grounded. But emotions aren’t liabilities. They’re signals.

What Emotions Are Telling Us

Brackett outlines five reasons why emotions matter:

  1. They affect attention.
  2. They shape decisions.
  3. They influence relationships.
  4. They impact health.
  5. They drive creativity and performance.

Let’s decode a few:

  • Anger might mean a boundary needs to be set.
  • Fear could signal something important is being avoided.
  • Sadness may point to something that needs releasing.
  • Joy often invites celebration or gratitude.

None of these are “bad.” They’re messengers and an invitation to dig deeper. “What’s behind the anger? Why am I fearful about this situation?” Usually, it’s because a core value is being crossed or not honored.

Walking the Talk: Hot Button Emotions

Ready to get practical? Let’s explore your triggers—those moments that send you way below the line.

Step 1: Identify your hot buttons
Write down:

  • “It makes me angry when…”
  • “I feel offended when…”
  • “At work, I wish people would…”
  • “At home, I think it would be better if…”

For me? It makes me angry when people dismiss others just because they carry a difference of opinion.. I feel offended when someone assumes I’m not strategic because I lead with heart. I wish we’d all slow down long enough to listen—really listen.

Step 2: Notice your reactions

  • What happens in your body? Heat? Tightness? Racing heart?
  • What emotions show up? Anger? Frustration? Shame?
  • What thoughts arise? “How rude.” “I’m so over this.”

Step 3: Explore your coping strategies
Ask yourself:

  • “What do I tend to do when my hot button is pushed?”
  • “Do I shut down, lash out, avoid, or over-function?”

This is the work. 

Emotional literacy isn’t just about naming feelings—it’s about staying present with them, especially when the stakes are high.

Final Thought: Above or Below the Line?

In politics, as in life, we’re constantly choosing: do we show up above the line—curious, open, grounded—or below the line—reactive, defensive, judgmental?

Emotional literacy helps us stay above the line. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being aware.

Thanks for journeying through Mindful Politics. May your conversations be brave, your boundaries clear, and your heart open.

Links Below:

The polarizing detox challenge from the Builders Movement.

Coaching Worksheet Feelings Aren’t the F WordDownload

The Heartbeat of Civic Discourse

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Mindful Politics, Part 3 of a 4-Part Series

Politics isn’t just policy and position—it’s people. The way we engage with others, especially those who challenge us, matters just as much as what we stand for. If we want a healthier political culture, we must lead with emotional intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence: What It Is—and Why It Matters

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is our ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions and the emotions of others. Daniel Goleman describes its key components as:

  • Self-awareness
  • Self-regulation
  • Motivation
  • Empathy
  • Social skills

Unlike IQ, which measures cognitive abilities, EQ influences how we navigate relationships, make decisions under stress, and create psychological safety. In fact, emotional intelligence has been shown to be a better predictor of success and leadership than raw intellect.

Everyone We Meet Is Our Teacher

In our first newsletter, we explored the idea that everyone—yes, everyone—we meet can teach us something. This mindset shifts us from defensiveness to curiosity. It allows us to see political adversaries not as enemies but as complex individuals who hold insights we might not yet understand. Emotional intelligence opens us to this learning.

Disagree Better

As we explored in Newsletter #2, disagreement is inevitable—but disrespect is not. Emotionally intelligent people ask:

  • “What am I missing?”
  • “How can I remain present and curious, even when triggered?”
  • “Can I respond instead of react?”

They understand that productive disagreement builds deeper conversations and unexpected alliances.
Trust Begins with Safety
The book Gracious Space teaches us to intentionally create environments that foster respect, openness, and curiosity. In such spaces:

  • People feel safe to speak from the heart
  • Vulnerability isn’t punished—it’s welcomed
  • Dialogue replaces debate

When safety is lacking, people shut down, disengage, or escalate. The political fallout? Polarization, dehumanization, and gridlock.
We must ask ourselves—are we cultivating gracious spaces in our communities and conversations?

Emotional intelligence isn’t about being nice—it’s about being real. It’s about building trust that fuels collaboration. It’s about transforming politics from a battleground into common ground.
Let’s keep walking this mindful path—one conversation at a time.

Mindful Moments: How to Grow Your Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence isn’t static—it’s learnable. Here are a few intentional practices:

  • Practice self-reflection: What emotion am I feeling right now? What’s underneath it?
  • Pause before responding: Create space between trigger and reaction.
  • Seek feedback: Invite others to share how they experience you—and listen without defense.
  • Learn to label emotions: Develop an emotional vocabulary beyond “mad,” “sad,” and “fine.”
  • Build empathy muscles: Try to see the world through someone else’s lived experience.
  • Strengthen your listening: Listen to understand, not to win.
  • Create safety around you: Be a space where others can be honest and real.

Rising Strong is one of those books that reveals new layers each time you revisit it. I recently listened to a podcast where Brené was interviewed about the book and why it’s making a comeback. Re-reading it helps reconnect with the courage it takes to face failure, own our stories, and transform struggle into growth.

Brown’s vulnerability research is a goldmine for tough conversations, offering language and frameworks that help folks move through disappointment with resilience instead of shame. So I’m making another go of it! Join me and we’ll discuss together.

Erin Taylor Coaching Offerings

As a certified leadership coach, I empower teams to unlock their full potential with the DiSC assessment and The Five Behaviors of a Team.

Whether you’re looking to enhance leadership effectiveness or build a more cohesive team, these tools provide the insights and strategies needed for lasting success. Let’s elevate your team’s performance together – view my offerings now!

Turning Conflict Into Connection

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Turning Conflict Into Connection - blog cover image

A Leadership Guide to Better Disagreements

Mindful Politics, Part 2 of a 4-Part Series

Conflict isn’t a sign of poor leadership—it’s a gateway to clarity, connection, and progress. When handled with intention, it can realign strategies, strengthen teams, and spark innovation. Psychologist and author Adam Grant reminds us, “We should agree to disagree more often. Avoiding minor arguments is a missed opportunity for learning.” In this second edition of our mindful politics series, we’ll look at how leaders can embrace disagreement as a powerful practice. Let’s turn friction into fuel for growth.

Common Leadership Pitfalls in Disagreements

One common leadership pitfall in disagreements is the need to be right, where leaders focus on proving their point rather than fostering collaboration, ultimately stifling innovation and trust. Another is attachment to the outcome, which can cause leaders to push for a specific resolution rather than staying open to new perspectives and potential solutions. I’m quite sure I’m guilty of both!

Here are a few more examples of common pitfalls:

  • Communication Framing Matters – Saying, “We need to streamline our hiring process because I care about efficiency,” may unintentionally suggest that others do not. Instead, try, “How can we improve efficiency in a way that supports everyone’s concerns?”
  • Drama Triangle Roles – The Conscious Leadership Group describes the Drama Triangle as a cycle that keeps leaders stuck in reactive patterns. Leaders can unknowingly take on Victim, Villain, or Hero roles. For example:
    • Villain: “My team keeps resisting change.” (Blame)
    • Hero: “I have to fix everything.” (Over-functioning)
    • Victim: “Leadership decisions are unfair to me.” (Helplessness)
  • Forced Communication – Name-calling, controlling, or shutting down ideas stops collaboration before it starts. Instead of demanding agreement, invite diverse perspectives.

Recognizing these roles allows leaders to engage with responsibility rather than reaction.

Leadership Strategies for Productive Conflict

Effective leaders approach conflict as an opportunity for growth rather than a problem to avoid. One key strategy is fostering psychological safety, ensuring that team members feel secure expressing differing viewpoints without fear of retaliation. Another is embracing curiosity over control, where leaders ask open-ended questions and seek to understand rather than push for immediate resolution. Regulating emotional responses also plays a crucial role—leaders set the tone by managing their own reactions, creating an environment where discussions remain constructive. Lastly, building mutual purpose ensures that disagreements focus on shared goals rather than personal agendas, keeping conversations solution-oriented and collaborative.

I always like the following techniques as well:

  • Embrace the “And” – Instead of framing choices as either/or, leaders should ask: How can we balance competing needs? For example:
    • Instead of: “Should we prioritize growth or employee well-being?”
    • Try: “How can we grow the company while supporting our team?”
  • Use the CRIB Framework in Tough Leadership Conversations as outlined in Crucial Conversations, helps leaders restore safety in discussions:
    • C – Commit to finding mutual purpose.
    • R – Recognize the deeper needs behind each perspective.
    • I – Invent new options that honor both sides.
    • B – Brainstorm solutions that align with shared goals.
  • Acknowledge & Validate all day long —Without Agreeing – Saying “I see why that’s frustrating,” keeps discussions open, while saying “That’s not true,” can escalate tension.

Leadership Call to Action

Think about a leadership challenge where conflict has emerged.
Consider:

  1. What assumptions might be blocking resolution?
  2. How could reframing invite better dialogue?
  3. What communication shifts would create more psychological safety?
  4. How can you lead disagreement with curiosity instead of control?

Leaders who embrace constructive disagreement strengthen teams, build trust, and inspire innovation. Are you ready to shift your approach? Let’s continue the conversation.

Graphic that reads: "Smart Things People Say. "Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress." - Ghandi. Ghandi's perspective on disagreement is powerful. His words remind us that respectful debate isn't about winning but growing. When approached with openness and integrity, disagreement can strengthen relationships and deepen understanding"
Graphic that reads: "Books by My Bedside. Give and Take by Adam Grant"

I just finished Adam Grant’s Give and Take. In this book, Grant explores how reciprocity styles—givers, takers, and matchers—shape leadership success. He argues that while takers may rise quickly, givers who strategically balance generosity with self-care (otherish givers) build stronger teams, deeper trust, and long-term influence. Leaders who foster a culture of giving—where collaboration and mentorship thrive—see higher engagement and innovation. However, unchecked generosity can lead to burnout, making it essential for leaders to set boundaries while maintaining a giving mindset.I found Give and Take to be a fresh perspective on leadership effectiveness and how we as leaders influence others. It’s an easy read, and probably a good one for a listen in the car. What I love most is that Grant’s research challenges the idea that success requires ruthless competition and instead shows that generosity fuels sustainable achievement.

“This book reshapes how we think about leadership—Grant proves that strategic generosity leads to stronger teams and lasting success.”

Erin Taylor Coaching Offerings

As a certified leadership coach, I empower teams to unlock their full potential with the DiSC assessment and The Five Behaviors of a Team.

DiSC helps individuals understand their unique communication styles, leading to stronger collaboration, reduced conflict, and improved workplace dynamics.

When integrated with The Five Behaviors of a Team—Trust, Conflict, Commitment, Accountability, and Results—teams gain a framework for high-performance teamwork, fostering a culture of resilience and alignment.

Whether you’re looking to enhance leadership effectiveness or build a more cohesive team, these tools provide the insights and strategies needed for lasting success. Let’s elevate your team’s performance together! View my offerings now.

Deescalating Conflict

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Warning – I’m going to talk about politics…but it’s going to be ok.

It’s not just the book club story that troubles me—another friend recently shared about the polarizing discord surfacing in her dinner group. These friends, who have known each other for decades, raised their families together, worked together, and found each other in later years, formed a close-knit circle. A circle that takes care of one another, brings soup, visits when sick, and celebrates those precious annual trips around the sun. And now, it’s being torn apart.

I recently had a disheartening conversation with a friend who shared that her cherished monthly book club is falling apart due to political differences. This group, which has been meeting for years, consists of members from various states who are bonded by their decades-long friendship and love of sharing books. Unfortunately, it’s now crumbling because of politics – or shall I say, because of an unwillingness to look beyond the politics. 

I can’t shake the feeling that these are not isolated events. Our nation is deeply divided, with people feeling anger, a desire to be right, and a need to have their voices heard. This tension is causing individuals to lash out at one another, and as a result, cherished things like book clubs and friendships are becoming unintended casualties.

Contempt…
Disgust…
Incivility…
Intolerance…
Enemies…
Dehumanization…
Hate…
Repulsion…
Anger…
Fear…
Self-righteousness…
Block…
Unfriend…

3 frenemies from White Lotus season 3

Sound familiar?

Our world feels more divided than ever, and the situation shows little sign of improving. Gone are the days when we could debate issues and then share a meal together. Now, even discussing issues over dinner is often discouraged. Instead, we focus on proving why we are right and others are wrong. We no longer listen to understand; we react and dismiss not just ideas, but the people behind them.

I’ll admit, I often find it challenging to understand how others can support political views that differ from mine. But what concerns me even more is how we are treating one another. We’re not mindful of how we communicate and we’re not listening. Instead, we’re fixated on proving our point, cutting people off, and creating an “us versus them” mentality.

As someone deeply passionate about politics, with nearly 23 years of experience as a registered lobbyist, I’ve seen almost everything. I encourage everyone to get involved in the political process. Yet, the current climate unsettles me. The old adage, “It’s not personal, it’s politics,” seems to be fading. Politics has become deeply personal, and with it, our sense of community and connection is slipping away.

Personally, I find it deeply unsettling. This newsletter marks the beginning of a four-part series where I will thoughtfully explore how mindful behavior habits can transform the political landscape in America—one conversation at a time.

We already have the tools we need: awareness, non-judgment, human connection, openness, and vulnerability. Mindfulness is about being fully present and aware of what’s happening in the moment, without judgment. It transcends partisanship and religion—it’s simply about embracing our shared humanity.

Books by My Bedside

books by my bedside The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins

The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins. On page 37 Robbins writes, “We all have moments where we try to control the world around us – especially when we feel hurt, left out, annoyed, or afraid.” Let Them is about consciously allowing others to make their own choices and live their lives, without feeling the need to manage or influence their behavior…It allows you to focus on yourself, because that’s where your true power is.”

She goes on to write, “My point is simple: Adults will have negative opinions about you and everything you do. Let Them judge. Let Them react. Let Them doubt you. Let Them question the decisions you are making. Let Them be wrong about you. Let Them roll their eyes when you start posting videos online or you want to rewrite the manuscript for the 12th time. Instead of wasting your time worrying about them, start living your life in a way that makes you proud of yourself. Let Me do what I want to do with my one wild and precious life.”

Let them…Let me. Good stuff.

Call to Action

1 – Everyone We Meet Is Our Teacher

For every conversation, relationship, or circumstance – consider the opportunity to learn more about yourself for each interaction. Where is your mindset going into the conversation? Especially if you know it is going to be difficult? Do you have negative thoughts are running through your head? Are you holding assumptions? What behaviors do you employ to act on those thoughts (triggers)? Weaving mindfulness into the world of politics is an invitation to make it less about YOU and more about WE. 

2 – Responding vs. Reacting

Before you act irrationally or impulsively, take a breath. Simply take a breath. That micro moment will allow you to regroup and respond with a more appropriate reply, even if it is to end the conversation or pivot.

3 – Deescalating Conflict

·  Listen – really, listen. Most people need to feel heard –  “Thank you for sharing…”

·  Respond empathetically – “It sounds like this is important to you”

·  End the conversation/divert/detour (when feeling threatened or triggered)

“It’s clear this issue is an important issue, but I see things differently.”
“I’m not sure we are going to agree. Let’s come back to this at another time…”

In a recent Mel Robbins podcast titled “How to Handle Difficult People & Take Back Your Peace and Power” (interview with Jefferson Fisher), Fisher gives some good ideas on how to de-escalate arguments, difficult conversations and remember your boundaries. Remember, you don’t have to accept every invitation to an argument or disagreement. Here are some takeaways…. it’s worth a listen.

  • “I could have done better.”
  • “Is this something we have to agree on?”
  • Tell them what you learned or what you agree on – let them know you heard what they are saying…
    • “I learned this from what you said…
    • “I agree this is an important issue…
    • “Maybe so…
    • “Maybe you’re right…

When you are repelled by someone’s viewpoint, what’s next?

Mindful Moments

This exercise comes from the book Beyond Your Bubble – How to Connect Across the Political Divide by Tania Isreal, PhD. Grab your computer or a notebook and a quiet few minutes and see how this sits with you.

  • First, choose an issue to focus on where there are clearly two sides to an issue. Maybe something that just came up in a heated conversation about politics.
  • Then write for 3-5 minutes about people who believe in the opposing position. Allow yourself to express as much anger, frustration, or confusion as you feel.
  • After that, shift your perspective. Pretend you are the person on the other side. Try to imagine what they think and feel about people like you. Once you’ve done this introspection, write for 3 to 5 minutes as if you were them writing about people who hold your beliefs. Express yourself with as much anger, frustration, and confusion as they might feel about you.
  • Next, you’re back to being yourself. At this point, write as many reasons as you can think of that someone might hold views on this issue that are different from your own. You might consider their experiences, values, or other things that would lead them to different conclusions on this issue.
  • Finally, consider how you felt about people on the other side of this issue before you did the activity and reflect on how you feel about them now. Do you notice any new insights about them or any shift in your feelings toward them?
smart things people say. adam grant

Feelings are Data

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Feelings are Data

Anxious. Angry. Upset. Frustrated. Joyful. Are these states of being? Sentiments? Thoughts?

Fun fact – I deleted my entire article after watching Pixar’s Inside Out 2 movie with my family last night. For those not up-to-date on current youth films, I assert this one transcends generational boundaries.

Credit: Disney

Even if you don’t have children—please, go! My older teen and young adult children recalled the first movie and appreciated how the sequel focused on emotions tied to adolescence. 

They lived it right alongside the movie’s timeline. I certainly lived through it… ages ago! Both Inside Out 2 and the original movie explore emotions and feelings, which everyone experiences regardless of age—as the saying goes, there’s something for everyone!

Acknowledging my own vulnerability, I haven’t always been adept at identifying my feelings and their messages. I’ve often reacted impulsively, bottling them up, letting them dictate my actions. This has led me to react rather than respond.

Since becoming a coach, I’ve learned much about recognizing emotions, feelings, and the thoughts tied to them. I now firmly believe that feelings offer valuable data accessible to each of us at any moment—data relevant to work, home life, and relationships.

Feelings. Are. Data.

This fundamental understanding is available to each of us. Once we begin to recognize our own emotions, it opens the door to understanding others, enhancing communication, and fostering better teamwork (or family dynamics).

Two books I highly recommend on emotions and feelings are Brené Brown’s “Atlas of the Heart” and Marc Brackett’s “Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive.”

I’ve mentioned “Atlas of the Heart” before—it has become a tried and true resource for me, exploring eighty-seven emotions that define the human experience and mapping them out for practical use in life.

Dr. Brackett argues that many children and adults suffer because they feel ashamed of their emotions and lack emotional skills (sound familiar?). His research emphasizes emotional intelligence’s role in learning, decision-making, creativity, relationships, health, and performance. I was fortunate to attend a workshop led by Dr. Brackett a few years ago—it was eye-opening. His work with K12 children nationwide has empowered thousands to articulate emotions and communicate effectively. Everyone should read his book.

My mind was blown recently when I discovered a podcast featuring both Brené and Marc discussing feelings – two great minds coming together! One significant issue they address is that many people are reluctant to know how others feel, as it obliges us to respond to those emotions. What if someone admits to feeling anxious, stressed, or depressed? It’s a lot to handle. How do we acknowledge such profound emotions in others? How do we address our own inner struggles?

There is so much more to this issue and I could go on and on. The language of emotions is real, learnable, and attainable. It’s simply data. For now, let’s continue working together to embrace it.

Graphic that reads: "Smart Things People Say. "Between Stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor Frankl

Mindful Moments

As a mindfulness facilitator and executive coach, one of the most impactful programs I’ve developed is called The Space Between. This program is designed specifically for office environments and can be delivered either virtually or in person. Its aim is to foster a shared communication framework among colleagues, enabling them to support each other, recognize emotions, and navigate challenging conversations with empathy and grace. It’s real meditation, it’s resilience, it’s learning by doing. 

Here is a quick rundown of what the program can look like:

Previous clients have given rave reviews for this program with more than 75% of the participants incorporating what they learned into their daily lives, and 100% reporting that The Space Between Mindfulness Program met or exceeded their expectations. 

If you would like to know more about The Space Between, please let me know and let’s see how we can structure a program to grow mindfulness in your business environment.

Coaching Openings

Erin Taylor Coaching is happy to announce availability for individual coaching programs.

but hurry, as they will fill up quickly. Please see the website for more information or contact Erin at erin@erintaylorcoaching.com

“Erin’s ability to bring focus, connectedness and compassion to an organization is unparalleled. Through weekly sessions, Erin provides a place for team members to show up – in whatever mental, emotional or physical place they may find themselves – and learn best practices for everything from effective management and conflict resolution to reducing stress, avoiding burnout and finding joy in your work. Through our office’s work with Erin, we have been able to improve communication, productivity and creativity in our office while fostering an environment where team members feel better able to share in their challenges and rejoice in their successes.” ~ US Senate Office

Don’t Feed the Gremlins

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Graphic that reads: "Don't Feed the Gremlins"

Does this ring a bell for all you Gen Xers out there? Perhaps some of you straddle the generational divide and are familiar with the 1984 film, Gremlins (and hopefully, millennials and Gens Y & Z, if your folks raised you right). Adhere to these three simple rules, and all will be well in the world. However, we’re all aware of the chaos that ensues when one or more of these rules is broken. If you’re not familiar, go ahead and find out!

Image of Gremlin from 1984 film, Gremlins

As a parent in their 50s with three teenage children, I frequently discuss Gremlins. But I’m not referring to the little green creatures from the movie. I’m talking about the inner voice that sabotages our efforts to be or become our best selves. I call that voice my Gremlin. 
 
I’d wager that each one of you has a Gremlin of your own. Maybe it’s self-doubt, feeling undeserving of love, or a sense of inadequacy. Perhaps it’s a perpetual case of imposter syndrome (often accompanied by the “I’m not good enough” Gremlin).

“I’m not good enough.” That’s my Gremlin. It always has been.

As a professional coach, I frequently encounter clients eager to grow and achieve more in their lives. Yet, we often discover that something is hindering their progress – something that saps their energy and confidence – Gremlins! It’s that small yet persistent voice that accompanies us everywhere, stunting our growth, eroding our confidence, and sometimes, preventing us from becoming who we’re meant to be. For me, it often manifests as excessive preparation and an ongoing battle with perfectionism.
 
Brené Brown delves extensively into perfectionism and suggests it serves as a form of armor, shielding us from judgment by others. That certainly strikes a chord with me. How ironic that such a tiny, fictional creature wields such influence in my life, compelling me to “armor up” for protection. It’s weighty stuff.
 
Now, here’s the good news – through coaching, I’ve gained valuable insights into my Gremlin, and I’ve assisted others in this journey too. I’ve even given my Gremlin a name (trust me, there’s power in doing so) and have acquired various techniques to ensure she has a seat at the table without dominating the conversation.

The 5 AM Club: Own Your Morning. Elevate Your Lifeby Robin S. Sharma 

As someone deeply involved in guiding others towards cultivating better habits of service, I often find myself in a familiar dilemma, navigating similar challenges. While I take pride in integrating annual goal-setting and intention-building practices into my routine, I still grapple with the question of timing. When will I find the time to address my extensive list of self-care needs, which encompass exercise, reflection, meditation, learning, and nurturing my creativity? This perennial question continues to loom over me.

Recently, I came across a book recommendation during a podcast, and it caught my interest. What particularly resonated with me was the 20/20/20 strategy it proposed:

  • Commence the day with 20 minutes of physical activity.
  • Follow this with 20 minutes dedicated to introspection, be it through meditation, journaling, or quiet contemplation.
  • Conclude with 20 minutes devoted to personal growth activities, such as reading, reviewing goals, or acquiring new knowledge.

This structured one-hour routine aims to invigorate both body and mind, establishing a robust foundation for the day ahead. For someone like me, constantly grappling with time constraints, this strategy seems promising, and I’m eager to give it a shot!

Graphic that reads: Smart Things People Say. "Your habits will determine your quality of life." -Dennis Waitley

MINDFUL MOMENTS

Understanding your Gremlin

Let’s delve further into the topic of Gremlins. Take a moment to pinpoint your own Gremlin (sometimes giving it a name can be helpful). “Ah, there’s Karen making an appearance.” (no offense to the Karens out there) 

Developing awareness around your Gremlin (deliberate attention) and documenting your thoughts about it (giving them a place outside your mind) is essential. Here are some prompts to consider:

  • How is your Gremlin currently holding you back or what is it costing you?
  • When does your Gremlin emerge, how do you put up your defenses, and what is it attempting to shield you from?
  • In what ways does your Gremlin’s message clash with your fundamental values?
  • How can you alter your mindset regarding your Gremlin to align more closely with your values?

Choose a response to your Gremlin. “Thanks for the heads-up, but I’ll manage.” Or “Not today, Steve!” Or “While you’re welcome at the table, you don’t get to dictate the proceedings.”

Live your life on purpose! Schedule an appointment with Erin Taylor Coaching.