Skip to main content

Tag: Better Disagreements

A Leadership Guide to Better Disagreements

Posted on September 2, 2025 - 8:00 pm by

Mindful Politics, Part 2 of a 4-Part Series

Politics isn’t just policy and position—it’s people. The way we engage with others, especially those who challenge us, matters just as much as what we stand for. If we want a healthier political culture, we must lead with emotional intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence: What It Is—and Why It Matters

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is our ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions and the emotions of others. Daniel Goleman describes its key components as:

  • Self-awareness
  • Self-regulation
  • Motivation
  • Empathy
  • Social skills

Unlike IQ, which measures cognitive abilities, EQ influences how we navigate relationships, make decisions under stress, and create psychological safety. In fact, emotional intelligence has been shown to be a better predictor of success and leadership than raw intellect.

Everyone We Meet Is Our Teacher

In our first newsletter, we explored the idea that everyone—yes, everyone—we meet can teach us something. This mindset shifts us from defensiveness to curiosity. It allows us to see political adversaries not as enemies but as complex individuals who hold insights we might not yet understand. Emotional intelligence opens us to this learning.

Disagree Better

As we explored in Newsletter #2, disagreement is inevitable—but disrespect is not. Emotionally intelligent people ask:

  • “What am I missing?”
  • “How can I remain present and curious, even when triggered?”
  • “Can I respond instead of react?”

They understand that productive disagreement builds deeper conversations and unexpected alliances.
Trust Begins with Safety
The book Gracious Space teaches us to intentionally create environments that foster respect, openness, and curiosity. In such spaces:

  • People feel safe to speak from the heart
  • Vulnerability isn’t punished—it’s welcomed
  • Dialogue replaces debate

When safety is lacking, people shut down, disengage, or escalate. The political fallout? Polarization, dehumanization, and gridlock.
We must ask ourselves—are we cultivating gracious spaces in our communities and conversations?

Emotional intelligence isn’t about being nice—it’s about being real. It’s about building trust that fuels collaboration. It’s about transforming politics from a battleground into common ground.
Let’s keep walking this mindful path—one conversation at a time.

Mindful Moments: How to Grow Your Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence isn’t static—it’s learnable. Here are a few intentional practices:

  • Practice self-reflection: What emotion am I feeling right now? What’s underneath it?
  • Pause before responding: Create space between trigger and reaction.
  • Seek feedback: Invite others to share how they experience you—and listen without defense.
  • Learn to label emotions: Develop an emotional vocabulary beyond “mad,” “sad,” and “fine.”
  • Build empathy muscles: Try to see the world through someone else’s lived experience.
  • Strengthen your listening: Listen to understand, not to win.
  • Create safety around you: Be a space where others can be honest and real.

Rising Strong is one of those books that reveals new layers each time you revisit it. I recently listened to a podcast where Brené was interviewed about the book and why it’s making a comeback. Re-reading it helps reconnect with the courage it takes to face failure, own our stories, and transform struggle into growth.

Brown’s vulnerability research is a goldmine for tough conversations, offering language and frameworks that help folks move through disappointment with resilience instead of shame. So I’m making another go of it! Join me and we’ll discuss together.

Erin Taylor Coaching Offerings

As a certified leadership coach, I empower teams to unlock their full potential with the DiSC assessment and The Five Behaviors of a Team.

Whether you’re looking to enhance leadership effectiveness or build a more cohesive team, these tools provide the insights and strategies needed for lasting success. Let’s elevate your team’s performance together – view my offerings now!

Turning Conflict Into Connection

Posted on July 29, 2025 - 9:00 am by
Turning Conflict Into Connection - blog cover image

A Leadership Guide to Better Disagreements

Mindful Politics, Part 2 of a 4-Part Series

Conflict isn’t a sign of poor leadership—it’s a gateway to clarity, connection, and progress. When handled with intention, it can realign strategies, strengthen teams, and spark innovation. Psychologist and author Adam Grant reminds us, “We should agree to disagree more often. Avoiding minor arguments is a missed opportunity for learning.” In this second edition of our mindful politics series, we’ll look at how leaders can embrace disagreement as a powerful practice. Let’s turn friction into fuel for growth.

Common Leadership Pitfalls in Disagreements

One common leadership pitfall in disagreements is the need to be right, where leaders focus on proving their point rather than fostering collaboration, ultimately stifling innovation and trust. Another is attachment to the outcome, which can cause leaders to push for a specific resolution rather than staying open to new perspectives and potential solutions. I’m quite sure I’m guilty of both!

Here are a few more examples of common pitfalls:

  • Communication Framing Matters – Saying, “We need to streamline our hiring process because I care about efficiency,” may unintentionally suggest that others do not. Instead, try, “How can we improve efficiency in a way that supports everyone’s concerns?”
  • Drama Triangle Roles – The Conscious Leadership Group describes the Drama Triangle as a cycle that keeps leaders stuck in reactive patterns. Leaders can unknowingly take on Victim, Villain, or Hero roles. For example:
    • Villain: “My team keeps resisting change.” (Blame)
    • Hero: “I have to fix everything.” (Over-functioning)
    • Victim: “Leadership decisions are unfair to me.” (Helplessness)
  • Forced Communication – Name-calling, controlling, or shutting down ideas stops collaboration before it starts. Instead of demanding agreement, invite diverse perspectives.

Recognizing these roles allows leaders to engage with responsibility rather than reaction.

Leadership Strategies for Productive Conflict

Effective leaders approach conflict as an opportunity for growth rather than a problem to avoid. One key strategy is fostering psychological safety, ensuring that team members feel secure expressing differing viewpoints without fear of retaliation. Another is embracing curiosity over control, where leaders ask open-ended questions and seek to understand rather than push for immediate resolution. Regulating emotional responses also plays a crucial role—leaders set the tone by managing their own reactions, creating an environment where discussions remain constructive. Lastly, building mutual purpose ensures that disagreements focus on shared goals rather than personal agendas, keeping conversations solution-oriented and collaborative.

I always like the following techniques as well:

  • Embrace the “And” – Instead of framing choices as either/or, leaders should ask: How can we balance competing needs? For example:
    • Instead of: “Should we prioritize growth or employee well-being?”
    • Try: “How can we grow the company while supporting our team?”
  • Use the CRIB Framework in Tough Leadership Conversations as outlined in Crucial Conversations, helps leaders restore safety in discussions:
    • C – Commit to finding mutual purpose.
    • R – Recognize the deeper needs behind each perspective.
    • I – Invent new options that honor both sides.
    • B – Brainstorm solutions that align with shared goals.
  • Acknowledge & Validate all day long —Without Agreeing – Saying “I see why that’s frustrating,” keeps discussions open, while saying “That’s not true,” can escalate tension.

Leadership Call to Action

Think about a leadership challenge where conflict has emerged.
Consider:

  1. What assumptions might be blocking resolution?
  2. How could reframing invite better dialogue?
  3. What communication shifts would create more psychological safety?
  4. How can you lead disagreement with curiosity instead of control?

Leaders who embrace constructive disagreement strengthen teams, build trust, and inspire innovation. Are you ready to shift your approach? Let’s continue the conversation.

Graphic that reads: "Smart Things People Say. "Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress." - Ghandi. Ghandi's perspective on disagreement is powerful. His words remind us that respectful debate isn't about winning but growing. When approached with openness and integrity, disagreement can strengthen relationships and deepen understanding"
Graphic that reads: "Books by My Bedside. Give and Take by Adam Grant"

I just finished Adam Grant’s Give and Take. In this book, Grant explores how reciprocity styles—givers, takers, and matchers—shape leadership success. He argues that while takers may rise quickly, givers who strategically balance generosity with self-care (otherish givers) build stronger teams, deeper trust, and long-term influence. Leaders who foster a culture of giving—where collaboration and mentorship thrive—see higher engagement and innovation. However, unchecked generosity can lead to burnout, making it essential for leaders to set boundaries while maintaining a giving mindset.I found Give and Take to be a fresh perspective on leadership effectiveness and how we as leaders influence others. It’s an easy read, and probably a good one for a listen in the car. What I love most is that Grant’s research challenges the idea that success requires ruthless competition and instead shows that generosity fuels sustainable achievement.

“This book reshapes how we think about leadership—Grant proves that strategic generosity leads to stronger teams and lasting success.”

Erin Taylor Coaching Offerings

As a certified leadership coach, I empower teams to unlock their full potential with the DiSC assessment and The Five Behaviors of a Team.

DiSC helps individuals understand their unique communication styles, leading to stronger collaboration, reduced conflict, and improved workplace dynamics.

When integrated with The Five Behaviors of a Team—Trust, Conflict, Commitment, Accountability, and Results—teams gain a framework for high-performance teamwork, fostering a culture of resilience and alignment.

Whether you’re looking to enhance leadership effectiveness or build a more cohesive team, these tools provide the insights and strategies needed for lasting success. Let’s elevate your team’s performance together! View my offerings now.