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Tag: self-care

Don’t Feed the Gremlins

Posted on March 26, 2024 - 9:00 am by
Graphic that reads: "Don't Feed the Gremlins"

Does this ring a bell for all you Gen Xers out there? Perhaps some of you straddle the generational divide and are familiar with the 1984 film, Gremlins (and hopefully, millennials and Gens Y & Z, if your folks raised you right). Adhere to these three simple rules, and all will be well in the world. However, we’re all aware of the chaos that ensues when one or more of these rules is broken. If you’re not familiar, go ahead and find out!

Image of Gremlin from 1984 film, Gremlins

As a parent in their 50s with three teenage children, I frequently discuss Gremlins. But I’m not referring to the little green creatures from the movie. I’m talking about the inner voice that sabotages our efforts to be or become our best selves. I call that voice my Gremlin. 
 
I’d wager that each one of you has a Gremlin of your own. Maybe it’s self-doubt, feeling undeserving of love, or a sense of inadequacy. Perhaps it’s a perpetual case of imposter syndrome (often accompanied by the “I’m not good enough” Gremlin).

“I’m not good enough.” That’s my Gremlin. It always has been.

As a professional coach, I frequently encounter clients eager to grow and achieve more in their lives. Yet, we often discover that something is hindering their progress – something that saps their energy and confidence – Gremlins! It’s that small yet persistent voice that accompanies us everywhere, stunting our growth, eroding our confidence, and sometimes, preventing us from becoming who we’re meant to be. For me, it often manifests as excessive preparation and an ongoing battle with perfectionism.
 
Brené Brown delves extensively into perfectionism and suggests it serves as a form of armor, shielding us from judgment by others. That certainly strikes a chord with me. How ironic that such a tiny, fictional creature wields such influence in my life, compelling me to “armor up” for protection. It’s weighty stuff.
 
Now, here’s the good news – through coaching, I’ve gained valuable insights into my Gremlin, and I’ve assisted others in this journey too. I’ve even given my Gremlin a name (trust me, there’s power in doing so) and have acquired various techniques to ensure she has a seat at the table without dominating the conversation.

The 5 AM Club: Own Your Morning. Elevate Your Lifeby Robin S. Sharma 

As someone deeply involved in guiding others towards cultivating better habits of service, I often find myself in a familiar dilemma, navigating similar challenges. While I take pride in integrating annual goal-setting and intention-building practices into my routine, I still grapple with the question of timing. When will I find the time to address my extensive list of self-care needs, which encompass exercise, reflection, meditation, learning, and nurturing my creativity? This perennial question continues to loom over me.

Recently, I came across a book recommendation during a podcast, and it caught my interest. What particularly resonated with me was the 20/20/20 strategy it proposed:

  • Commence the day with 20 minutes of physical activity.
  • Follow this with 20 minutes dedicated to introspection, be it through meditation, journaling, or quiet contemplation.
  • Conclude with 20 minutes devoted to personal growth activities, such as reading, reviewing goals, or acquiring new knowledge.

This structured one-hour routine aims to invigorate both body and mind, establishing a robust foundation for the day ahead. For someone like me, constantly grappling with time constraints, this strategy seems promising, and I’m eager to give it a shot!

Graphic that reads: Smart Things People Say. "Your habits will determine your quality of life." -Dennis Waitley

MINDFUL MOMENTS

Understanding your Gremlin

Let’s delve further into the topic of Gremlins. Take a moment to pinpoint your own Gremlin (sometimes giving it a name can be helpful). “Ah, there’s Karen making an appearance.” (no offense to the Karens out there) 

Developing awareness around your Gremlin (deliberate attention) and documenting your thoughts about it (giving them a place outside your mind) is essential. Here are some prompts to consider:

  • How is your Gremlin currently holding you back or what is it costing you?
  • When does your Gremlin emerge, how do you put up your defenses, and what is it attempting to shield you from?
  • In what ways does your Gremlin’s message clash with your fundamental values?
  • How can you alter your mindset regarding your Gremlin to align more closely with your values?

Choose a response to your Gremlin. “Thanks for the heads-up, but I’ll manage.” Or “Not today, Steve!” Or “While you’re welcome at the table, you don’t get to dictate the proceedings.”

Live your life on purpose! Schedule an appointment with Erin Taylor Coaching.

Welcome In

Posted on February 9, 2024 - 9:00 am by
Graphic that reads: "Welcome in"

Well, here we are…the holidays are in the rearview mirror, school is in session and everyday life is back to the old grind. And January. Is. Already. Over. How on earth did that happen?

In my ideal world, I should have already finished my 2023 reflections and mapped out my goals and intentions for this year. Did that happen? Sort of. Here and there. Kind of. Not all at once. Sound familiar? Surely, I am not alone in this boat. But I have been thinking about it. A lot.

What’s resonating to me right now? I told my teenage kids that I was considering writing about getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, a fairly popular concept embraced by the likes of the United State Marine Corp and the high school soccer team alike. 
 
They both groaned. We’ve all heard that before.

Back to the Drawing Board

So, I went back to the drawing board and gave it more thought while driving across Wyoming- such a journey providing the perfect opportunity – and recalled my morning meditation. It centered on fundamental ideas like non-judgment, acceptance, curiosity, and embracing the discomfort of uncertainty. In essence, it emphasized the idea that everything is welcome. The meditation app referred to it as “welcome to the party,” but I personally likened it to the feeling of entering a retail store, where we’re often greeted with a warm “welcome in.”
 
My co-worker, the one who always annoys me, is annoying me. – welcome in.
 
I didn’t like the tone of my husband’s text message – welcome in.
 
I hate the way these pants look on me – welcome in.
 
Our perceptions of a situation are shaped by a combination of experiences, emotions, interpretations, judgments, thoughts, and physical reactions. These elements frequently influence the decisions and actions we choose to pursue. When marred by judgment, non-acceptance, and a lack of curiosity, we often find ourselves stuck in a cycle, not presenting ourselves in the manner we aspire to. 

But what if there was a way to circumvent that? What would it be like to welcome in distressing feelings, judgmental thoughts or physical reactions? Welcome in whatever is taking you below the line. What would it feel like to say nothing is not welcome?
 
Perhaps there is opportunity to learn. And perhaps there is an opportunity to accept. Perhaps, even an opportunity to move beyond a treasured and prized opinion that you know is certainly always right.
 

Welcome in. 


This concept has earned a spot in my intentions and goal setting process for the coming year. I plan to use it as a mantra.
 
Welcome in.

MINDFUL MOMENTS

I’m a big proponent of practicing the pause – Let’s add one more step – during that microsecond, say to yourself, “welcome in” to whatever is taking you below the line. Acknowledging and accepting the thoughts or emotions, one can create space for a more measured and intentional response, fostering better communication and decision-making. Integrating such techniques into daily interactions can contribute to personal growth and more positive outcomes for us all.

Give it a try.

Welcome in. You’re safe here.

Practicing Gratitude

Posted on November 21, 2023 - 9:00 am by
Graphic that reads: "Practicing Gratitude"

During the month of November, my family embarks on an annual tradition of practicing gratitude. We call it our “thankfuls.” It’s my job to run to the craft store to pick up a few packs of 2×8-inch colorful cardstock and Sharpie markers. They are kept in the kitchen in a basket where we can access them.

The goal is to fill the basket with something we are grateful for every day…ish. We then take turns reading them out loud at our Thanksgiving dinner. Sometimes, they are about the little things like. These can be things like I’m grateful for hockey, a walk with the dogs, or a “no-wind” day in Wyoming. Yet, inevitably, we end up reading thankfuls for what we value and cherish in each other, highlighting others’ gifts and how much we treasure them. We cry. We laugh. Sometimes our food gets cold!  And while the week leading up to Thanksgiving, we joke about how much we all need to continue and get to writing, somehow, the basket always fills up.

This thankful tradition keeps giving long after the Thanksgiving holiday. We then make the thankfuls into a looped chain that dons the house in the holiday spirit for weeks to come. It’s colorful and sometimes sparkly, but we all know what’s written on those 2×8-inch cards – an annual practice of gratitude and much love!

Mindful Moments

For the coming month, take the time to find three things during your day for which you are grateful. There is power to putting pen to paper. Even simply noticing it mentally is enough to start a new habit.

Here are a few benefits to building a gratitude practice. (I will remind you that it’s called practice for a reason):    

  • Improved mental health through building positive emotions and reducing depression and anxiety
  • Enhanced relationships, through connection and communication
  • Better physical health through stress reduction, lowering blood pressure, strengthening immunity, and better sleep
  • Increased resilience by learning to cope and enhance your mental toughness
  • Heightened self-esteem by building a positive self-image and confidence
  • Being more present in the moment by shifting focus to what’s happening how
  • Increased empathy by learning to appreciate others
  • Building long-term happiness by learning to be more generous with others, building satisfaction and happiness within you

Clarify Your Life

Autumn is in the Air.. It’s an Opportunity to Look Within

Posted on October 20, 2023 - 9:00 am by
Graphic that reads: "Alignment"

Here are a few ways I know that autumn is in the air:

The leaves are turning colors and falling to the ground. 

It’s getting colder. 

My outside plants are nearly done…let’s be honest, they are almost dead.

And at least one of my kids needs new pants because they grew this summer. Sounds familiar?

Yet we are all so focused on what’s happening on the outside – how the world is changing around us. How many of you take this opportunity to look within?

Bringing Wellness into the Everyday

My yoga practitioner friends suggest that fall is a great time to turn inward, harness that which drives you and tap into your heart’s mandate (shout out to Blossom Yoga and Jill Lovato). I love that! 

As a certified coach, I like to focus on helping people on their wellness journeys, tap into their intuitive leadership, learn to live a balanced life, or integrate mindfulness into the workplace. But with ALL of my clients, our work focuses on cultivating energy to live life on purpose. Where do core values fit in to how you cultivate your energy? 

When I work with clients, this is one of the first things we tackle. It involves a process of brainstorming and elimination, digging deep into tough questions and allowing what bubbles up to bubble up. Noticing.

Most of you know what is important to you. You know what drives your decisions or serves as your “true north”, right?

Graphic that reads: "Harmony. Freedom. Creativity. Joy!"

Like many of you, I have attended leadership seminars, growth mindset conferences, and self-development courses over the years. Like you, I have done countless exercises on values. But I’m not sure I could simply name them out loud. I mean naming them in three or four words. Not concepts or sentences. Just words.

It wasn’t until I was working on my coaching certification course when I learned exactly what my core values were. In fact, I am looking at a yellow sticky note that is attached to my computer monitor right now. They are part of my every day and guide my intentions, help me set goals, evaluate progress and explore areas in my life where I want to improve. They guild how I want to show up. Every. Single. Day.

Graphic that reads: "Smart Things People Say. "When You can believe and work for something with all your heart AND totally surrender the results, you're free to truly be at your best."

Mindful Moments

For this month, set aside some time in the morning to reflect on your values. Name them. And as you set your intentions for the day, decide what core value you want to “carry around in your back pocket” for the day.

When you look at the work through a lens of creativity or JOY, for example, it surely changes how you show up. 

It is just as powerful to use this tool at the end of the day when you are reflecting – did I reflect my core values today? How did they impact my decision making and how can I do better? Give it a try.   

Discover the Space Between

Fall Into Self-Care

Posted on September 26, 2023 - 10:42 pm by

Fall is the perfect time of year to press ctrl+alt+delete and reset your routines around self-care. I’m definitely showing my age here – I’m pretty sure my kids don’t even know what that is. But I digress. Often, summer is a crazy time of year where we enjoy all the things – food & drink, relatives/company, crazy travel schedules, or no schedules and kids home for the summer, perhaps ignoring the things you need to show up in your best energy. I know all of this is true for me. We live in the Mountain West and summers are fleeting so we feel that we must “pack it all in” and cram everything into a few precious weeks of nice weather. 

While grateful for the special times, as a mom, I often feel run down and tired at the end of summer. I crave getting back to the schedule that school requires and I have all of the best intentions to get back into a routine…my routine, for self-care. For me, this is especially important because I have an autoimmune condition that invites some real challenges into my life. So whether it is a change of season, a health challenge, or simply just wanting to do better, building a recipe for self-care can be a game changer.

Feel free to download my Self-Care Success tool under the Resources tab of the website(Adapted from the Magnolia Journal fall 2020: Building a Self-Care Success Formula).

THINK ABOUT YOUR TYPICAL DAY… 

  • What activities make you feel drained of energy or “below the line?” Is it possible to let any of these go to make space for renewal? 
  • Which daily patterns or routines are not working for you right now? Why? 
  • Which areas of your day could benefit from more flexibility and freedom? 
  • Which areas of your life could benefit from some degree of added structure? 
  • Which patterns or habits that are already in place bring you contentment or positive energy – “above the line?” 
  • When and where do you feel most at ease in your life? 
  • Which activities, places, or things make you feel inspired and alive? 
  • What time of the day do you feel most open, receptive, and curious? 

Here’s my recipe:

  • gratitude/reflection – gratitude literally rewires the brain. I have a practice of writing down three things in the morning and three things in the evening for which I am grateful. Usually I write them in a journal.
  • Movement – autoimmune disease invites stiff joints – therefore movement is critical for me. Yoga, pilates, weights, walking the dogs – something to move my body.
  • Food – What I eat = how I feel. Therefore mindful eating is something I strive for most days.
  • Meditation – Science shows that it also works to rewire the brain. But I know it definitely works for me! I have several apps that I use.Headspace, Calm, Ten Percent Happier, and Insight Timer.
  • Sleep – developing healthy sleep habits has been critical for my well being. There’s a lot more to it than simply closing your eyes!
  • Creativity – one of my core values is creativity. Anyone who knows me understands that I am happiest when I am able to cultivate my creative juices.

Have you ever asked someone for a recipe only to find that it just doesn’t come out the same way? Perhaps you were wondering if a key ingredient was left out (intentionally? I hope not!). But we all know the dish just doesn’t taste the same when something is missing. Similarly, if you find yourself “packing it all in” or “wearing the busy badge” and ignoring your self-care routine, what ingredient of your self-care recipe are you missing? Do the work. Know it like the back of your hand. It’s worth it.