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Tag: self-care

Don’t Feed the Gremlins

Posted on March 26, 2024 - 9:00 am by
Graphic that reads: "Don't Feed the Gremlins"

Does this ring a bell for all you Gen Xers out there? Perhaps some of you straddle the generational divide and are familiar with the 1984 film, Gremlins (and hopefully, millennials and Gens Y & Z, if your folks raised you right). Adhere to these three simple rules, and all will be well in the world. However, we’re all aware of the chaos that ensues when one or more of these rules is broken. If you’re not familiar, go ahead and find out!

Image of Gremlin from 1984 film, Gremlins

As a parent in their 50s with three teenage children, I frequently discuss Gremlins. But I’m not referring to the little green creatures from the movie. I’m talking about the inner voice that sabotages our efforts to be or become our best selves. I call that voice my Gremlin. 
 
I’d wager that each one of you has a Gremlin of your own. Maybe it’s self-doubt, feeling undeserving of love, or a sense of inadequacy. Perhaps it’s a perpetual case of imposter syndrome (often accompanied by the “I’m not good enough” Gremlin).

“I’m not good enough.” That’s my Gremlin. It always has been.

As a professional coach, I frequently encounter clients eager to grow and achieve more in their lives. Yet, we often discover that something is hindering their progress – something that saps their energy and confidence – Gremlins! It’s that small yet persistent voice that accompanies us everywhere, stunting our growth, eroding our confidence, and sometimes, preventing us from becoming who we’re meant to be. For me, it often manifests as excessive preparation and an ongoing battle with perfectionism.
 
Brené Brown delves extensively into perfectionism and suggests it serves as a form of armor, shielding us from judgment by others. That certainly strikes a chord with me. How ironic that such a tiny, fictional creature wields such influence in my life, compelling me to “armor up” for protection. It’s weighty stuff.
 
Now, here’s the good news – through coaching, I’ve gained valuable insights into my Gremlin, and I’ve assisted others in this journey too. I’ve even given my Gremlin a name (trust me, there’s power in doing so) and have acquired various techniques to ensure she has a seat at the table without dominating the conversation.

The 5 AM Club: Own Your Morning. Elevate Your Lifeby Robin S. Sharma 

As someone deeply involved in guiding others towards cultivating better habits of service, I often find myself in a familiar dilemma, navigating similar challenges. While I take pride in integrating annual goal-setting and intention-building practices into my routine, I still grapple with the question of timing. When will I find the time to address my extensive list of self-care needs, which encompass exercise, reflection, meditation, learning, and nurturing my creativity? This perennial question continues to loom over me.

Recently, I came across a book recommendation during a podcast, and it caught my interest. What particularly resonated with me was the 20/20/20 strategy it proposed:

  • Commence the day with 20 minutes of physical activity.
  • Follow this with 20 minutes dedicated to introspection, be it through meditation, journaling, or quiet contemplation.
  • Conclude with 20 minutes devoted to personal growth activities, such as reading, reviewing goals, or acquiring new knowledge.

This structured one-hour routine aims to invigorate both body and mind, establishing a robust foundation for the day ahead. For someone like me, constantly grappling with time constraints, this strategy seems promising, and I’m eager to give it a shot!

Graphic that reads: Smart Things People Say. "Your habits will determine your quality of life." -Dennis Waitley

MINDFUL MOMENTS

Understanding your Gremlin

Let’s delve further into the topic of Gremlins. Take a moment to pinpoint your own Gremlin (sometimes giving it a name can be helpful). “Ah, there’s Karen making an appearance.” (no offense to the Karens out there) 

Developing awareness around your Gremlin (deliberate attention) and documenting your thoughts about it (giving them a place outside your mind) is essential. Here are some prompts to consider:

  • How is your Gremlin currently holding you back or what is it costing you?
  • When does your Gremlin emerge, how do you put up your defenses, and what is it attempting to shield you from?
  • In what ways does your Gremlin’s message clash with your fundamental values?
  • How can you alter your mindset regarding your Gremlin to align more closely with your values?

Choose a response to your Gremlin. “Thanks for the heads-up, but I’ll manage.” Or “Not today, Steve!” Or “While you’re welcome at the table, you don’t get to dictate the proceedings.”

Live your life on purpose! Schedule an appointment with Erin Taylor Coaching.

Fall Into Self-Care

Posted on September 26, 2023 - 10:42 pm by

Fall is the perfect time of year to press ctrl+alt+delete and reset your routines around self-care. I’m definitely showing my age here – I’m pretty sure my kids don’t even know what that is. But I digress. Often, summer is a crazy time of year where we enjoy all the things – food & drink, relatives/company, crazy travel schedules, or no schedules and kids home for the summer, perhaps ignoring the things you need to show up in your best energy. I know all of this is true for me. We live in the Mountain West and summers are fleeting so we feel that we must “pack it all in” and cram everything into a few precious weeks of nice weather. 

While grateful for the special times, as a mom, I often feel run down and tired at the end of summer. I crave getting back to the schedule that school requires and I have all of the best intentions to get back into a routine…my routine, for self-care. For me, this is especially important because I have an autoimmune condition that invites some real challenges into my life. So whether it is a change of season, a health challenge, or simply just wanting to do better, building a recipe for self-care can be a game changer.

Feel free to download my Self-Care Success tool under the Resources tab of the website(Adapted from the Magnolia Journal fall 2020: Building a Self-Care Success Formula).

THINK ABOUT YOUR TYPICAL DAY… 

  • What activities make you feel drained of energy or “below the line?” Is it possible to let any of these go to make space for renewal? 
  • Which daily patterns or routines are not working for you right now? Why? 
  • Which areas of your day could benefit from more flexibility and freedom? 
  • Which areas of your life could benefit from some degree of added structure? 
  • Which patterns or habits that are already in place bring you contentment or positive energy – “above the line?” 
  • When and where do you feel most at ease in your life? 
  • Which activities, places, or things make you feel inspired and alive? 
  • What time of the day do you feel most open, receptive, and curious? 

Here’s my recipe:

  • gratitude/reflection – gratitude literally rewires the brain. I have a practice of writing down three things in the morning and three things in the evening for which I am grateful. Usually I write them in a journal.
  • Movement – autoimmune disease invites stiff joints – therefore movement is critical for me. Yoga, pilates, weights, walking the dogs – something to move my body.
  • Food – What I eat = how I feel. Therefore mindful eating is something I strive for most days.
  • Meditation – Science shows that it also works to rewire the brain. But I know it definitely works for me! I have several apps that I use.Headspace, Calm, Ten Percent Happier, and Insight Timer.
  • Sleep – developing healthy sleep habits has been critical for my well being. There’s a lot more to it than simply closing your eyes!
  • Creativity – one of my core values is creativity. Anyone who knows me understands that I am happiest when I am able to cultivate my creative juices.

Have you ever asked someone for a recipe only to find that it just doesn’t come out the same way? Perhaps you were wondering if a key ingredient was left out (intentionally? I hope not!). But we all know the dish just doesn’t taste the same when something is missing. Similarly, if you find yourself “packing it all in” or “wearing the busy badge” and ignoring your self-care routine, what ingredient of your self-care recipe are you missing? Do the work. Know it like the back of your hand. It’s worth it.